I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
