In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
