so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
