You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I would fuck him just for his dog
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
