i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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