I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
