I think i sorta joined a cult last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
