somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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