I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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