so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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