So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize