***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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