so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
