remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
