are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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