NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
