i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
