Sponge bath it is.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
