on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
