Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
me + whiskey = a bad person
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
