I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
