Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
