Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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