So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
