3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
