Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
