you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
