i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Me too!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
