Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize