She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
