Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
