she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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