Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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