I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize