Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Drunk is a universal language darling
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
