i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
