The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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