have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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