if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
