last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
