I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
