someone owes me an orgasm
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
