ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
