I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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