is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
don't judge my taste in strippers
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
