...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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