I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
