"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
