You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
