google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
