Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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