Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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