Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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