sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
