doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
