you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
