Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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