Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This is the high leading the old right now
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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