His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
