Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
