remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
