her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We left an ass print on the piano.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
